Wednesday, February 26, 2014

More body fun...

My body is up to no good.  I'd blame the chiropractor if I didn't like him so much. (Since he's apparently going to be a character in my story for a while, I guess he deserves a name like He-who-trains received.  Henceforth, I shall call him "He-who-adjusts".)   At least he warned me about the crazies...only he called it "re-tracing." Apparently, the muscles of the human body hold memories. And after beginning chiropractic treatment, old physical or emotional injuries can come back to the surface. He told me that if I had repressed any feelings, they could come to the surface in powerful and unexpected ways. He warned me that I might get angry or suddenly start crying.  I don't really understand it, but this article helped a lot. I'll be honest.  When he warned me, I couldn't quite picture it.  Or maybe I thought it was such a weird sounding thing that I didn't listen all that closely. It didn't sound like something that would happen to me. Which of course means that it did. I felt pretty rotten all day yesterday... green to be exact.  I thought I was low on carbs or somehow dehydrated.  I felt hungover and had no fun to show for it.  But there's a lot going on, and stress is high.  I made another scheduled trip to He-who-adjusts and I was apparently tense.  Imagine that.   He had to do a lot of adjusting to get me to stop hurting so badly. I went to bed early. I didn't sleep well, but around 1, I woke up sobbing--you know that ugly, animal choking sound type of cry-- for no apparent reason. I wrote a friend an angry and completely irrational letter (which I had the good sense not to send.) But this morning, at least emotionally, I felt fine.

Physically, however, it's been a pretty rough day. I almost feel like I have the flu. I'm supposed to be at church, but that is way outside the realm of possibility. My stomach is ten shades of mean, and I have a ridiculous headache. I can't concentrate on anything.  (Ask me how long this post has taken to write. Forget anything that I was supposed to be working on... of which there is much.  Fear inspiring writing deadline looms in just a few days.  This is NOT the time. I'm hoping by plowing through this post, that will settle my brain down a little so I can write something serious.)  I feel clammy and weird. My skin feels sunburned though I've not been outside for more than thirty seconds in several days. I thought it was stress or maybe I'm coming down with something, but I'm beginning to have another suspicion. He-who-adjusts recommended I try two things (he works holistically--viewing the body as a system.  He is trained in this sort of healing that goes beyond standard chiropractic work.) The first suggestion was that I get on some probiotics.  I will not describe for you my feeling on these things, or how much fun they've made me to be around, but maybe that's part of the process.  The other suggestion was that I go gluten-free.  He-who-adjusts suspects that I have an allergy to something, and the most common thing that produces this level of toxicity is gluten. (If this winds up being true, it could explain why I've had so much inflamation and have plateaued so much.  He-who-trains disagrees with the latter... citing my lack of consistent perfect eating.  But I'm already on that one as you can see here. He's going down.) Since Friday, I've not had any gluten of which I am aware. I've read labels and done some beginning research.  And now having felt awful for two days, I did some checking.  Sure enough. Lots of other people have had these exact same symptoms as they've gone gluten-free.  My body is apparently detoxing from gluten... which is weird, because I was having so little of it anyway.  How is this a thing? I get detoxing from alcohol or drugs or whatever... but wheat? Seriously? This article helped some, and so did this one.  I thought I'd go gluten-free for thirty days just to see what happened, but I'm beginning to wonder if there is something to this.

I wish I'd done a little more research-- this was not the time for this. But then again, maybe there's never a good time to feel crappy... and never a bad time to start being well.   Blrrrgh.

Anyone been through this? Would love to know what you've found helpful.  I'm on new ground here.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Game On

There's nothing I love more than a good challenge...except maybe really lovely, dark, decadent chocolate. Onward.

But I also love to be right. (Thereby humiliating the naysayer.  Of course, I would never say "I told you so.") The problem with being trained by He-who-trains is that I am almost never the right one.  He reads people and situations really well, and he knows it.  He predicts things with infuriating accuracy.

For the last few months I've been plateaued, and I've sworn to him (certainly not at him...that would be a rude thing to do outloud) that I was doing what he said.  I've been busting it at the gym.  I've been eating 1500 calories with 40% protein, 40% carbs, and 20% healthy fat.  And I have.  Except when I haven't.  He has been very helpful to point out to me that I do really well for a few weeks or even a month or two, and then I completely sit on and obliterate the wagon.  That's probably worse than just falling off of it?  I played loosey goosey with my eating when I got sick. I went all willey nilley with it when I went on the cruise.  He pointed out that I've never made it more than three months without taking matters into my own hands.  He also felt inclined to mention the fact that I'd set a thirty year precedent, and that a body wasn't going to realize my lifestyle was the new norm in just a few months of good behavior.

I'm tired of getting that lecture. I'm tired of proving him right.  So I opened my big mouth and told him I would make it six months with no major mess ups.  I'm allowed a cheat meal a week, and he really understands that life gets nuts-o sometimes, so a day or two of bending the eating commandments won't mess up my streak. But I'm not going to do things where I go crazy for a week. (uhem. for weeks.) I'm going to eat consistently well, using his guidelines.  I'm going to survive lent and beach week without blowing it. I've already started sending him food logs again (blessed, blessed food logs.  Gosh, I love doing those.  Really.) I'm tracking everything that goes in my mouth.

And from March 1- August 30... I'm gonna be St Kim: Patron Saint of People who are On It.

Come September 1st, He-who-trains is gonna shut his pie hole.  (And after 6 months of saintly eating, I might put pie in my pie hole :-P).  He is only going to open his mouth to say "I was wrong. You were right."

Game on.


Friday, February 21, 2014

There's this.

After after fifteen months, I'm finally half way to my body weight goal of 135lbs.  I figure that deserves some celebratory blog love...

So, in a few days (or whenever I get a chance), I'll unroll a spiffy new blog design using this new header.

In the words of Bon Jovi
"Whooah, we're half way there
Livin on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer!"

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Rest. Ice. Repeat.

I seem to be accumulating a staff of people who take care of my body.  I have a masseuse to regularly rub my piriformus (which isn't as much fun as you'd imagine. Google it. #awkward) I have a chiropractor who zaps me with these little things so I don't feel (or walk) like I'm a thirty-two year old trapped in a ninety-five year old body.  (Also, just really not as much fun as it sounds.) And I have a trainer, whose functions right now are limited to telling me what to eat and acting as a bouncer if I get near any thing heavier than five pounds. Oh and you know, to tell me... "Ummm...yeah.  There's no nice way to say this.  You're a train wreck."

So clearly things are going well in the body department. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't require a team of people to make sure I can walk.

I guess I haven't been doing a stellar job on my own. I have an injury in my back, and I've got some really tight hip flexors, but my team of people all agree on one thing (and only one, mind you. I don't want to get bored):  I have too much stress, and its affecting my body adversely. I'm working on it.  I am. My church folks are kindly lecturing me about it. But what I'm learning right now is that sometimes you can't handle it all on your own.  Sometimes, you need outside people to hold you up and put you back together and to help you quit making the same mistakes.

I'm having to take it easy... and that's not easy.  I'm having to practice what I preach, literally.  Grrrr.  I preach grace, and now I'm having to practice it with my body. I believe, in theory, anyway, in sabbath keeping.  But my body is going to make sure that's more than a theoretical belief.  I love the Jewish notion of Shalom, which is a big term encompassing things like wholeness, balance, and wellness. So now, I have the opportunity to focus on bringing my body and spirit back into shalom.  I'm writing.  And letting people help my body free itself of toxins, and bring itself back to health. I'm focusing on nutrition, and eating whole, real foods that have the nutrients I need. I'm stretching gently, and reminding myself to breathe well. I'm reviving creative energy.

Rest. Ice. Repeat.
Breathe. Heal. Repeat.
Grow. Repair.  Repeat.

I'm gonna try really hard to believe that I won't feel like this after taking some time off ;-) (Totally worth the watch...even for the fifteen sec advertisement at the beginning.)