It appears I've become that person... the one that a few weeks ago, I would've deemed fanatical or some other such derrogatory name. The one that drives every one else crazy with so strickly sticking to a diet and exercise plan.
For several weeks now, I've not eaten at all during any church gatherings-- only drinking water so I'm doing something. But now, as I prepare to head out of town for a conference that will last all week, I've taken the crazy a step farther. I've packaged 11 servings of protein powder in individual baggies. And I've cooked enough meat that I will able to do lunch and dinner with only a microwave. (Lemon Rosemary Chicken Breasts, Spaghetti Sauce, and Garlic Soy Sauce Pork Chops.) A few steamer bags of vegetables and small box of pasta and some milk and I'm set for the week. I've already researched enough to know that there is a Y close to the hotel, and that they open at 5:30. I've not only packed professional clothes, but gym clothes for every day. I'm sure I'll have to do one fast food meal on each end of the trip, but I can plan for that...and do it guiltlessly. Maybe it's the whole "Failure to plan is a plan to fail" thing has finally made sense.
Or maybe it's something else. He-who-trains told me that in order to succeed I had to learn to unapologetically say to myself and anyone else, "This is who I am." I've finally reached the point where those words are easy for me. When someone asks me to cheat a little bit, I can happily say, "I don't need that." And it's true. It's not about the calories because I know I could splurge every now and then. It's finally become about the mindset. Because I know that once I start eating things I don't need, all I want to do is eat things I don't need. At 1200 calories a day, there's not a lot of wiggle room. And I like that right now. I'm no longer eating food because it's there or someone fixed or even because it tastes good-- I eat what I need for my body to do what it needs to do.
So, yeah. I'm that person. I'm ok with that. Because that person is the one that will succeed when the other versions of me have failed. That person is the best person to be right now.