Saturday, February 25, 2012

Warrior

That's my new favorite pose.  Because I feel like a warrior when I'm busy making my body all bendy at yoga--my fitness trend du jour.

I used to yoga-- I used to be ten shades of bendy, and my body parts never got in the way of whatever pose I wanted to do. But that was in high school, before my body parts decided on their grownup, albeit round, shape.  Of course, I would've called myself athletic then.

It was a shock to finally see myself in the mirror when I signed up for a yoga class at the Y.  Thankfully, they kept the lights pretty dim, so I couldn't really see my body parts sticking out.  (And also because that was the only way I would have ever considered the necessary yoga evil-- spandex.) But I knew.  I felt flabby, not sleek, like I used to feel.


But there was something else--something that reminded me why I ever loved  yoga.  There was power.  There was a connectedness to this body, flabby and round though it may be.  There was a chance to put a stressful world behind me for a bit, and to just breathe.   And there was the after effect, which wasn't exactly like the ephemeral bliss that it looks like on TV, but was a genuine sense that I had given my body what it needed, if only for an hour.   It was different than the running, which by its nature forces you to push harder than you can go.  But that's too much like real life.  Yoga, though, is about listening, and being gentle, and believing that your body--the one you already have, not the one you so restlessly wish for-- is where you do your living.

And that's warrior worthy.  Not warrior like ready to conquer the world warrior, but like warrior who can calmly manage the chaos around her.  I'll take it.